


Infinite Possibilities, One Path

by squidgie



Category: Breakfast with Scot (2007)
Genre: Internalized Homophobia, M/M, What-If
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-05
Updated: 2016-01-05
Packaged: 2018-05-11 21:44:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5643049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/squidgie/pseuds/squidgie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eric contemplates what his life would be like if he weren't gay.  Set post-movie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Infinite Possibilities, One Path

**Author's Note:**

> For the LJ group Writer's Choice, challenge #643 - prompt, "sunshine"

Eric often wished that he wasn't gay. Growing up, it was the first thing he was reminded of when he woke up, and the last thing he prayed to go away every night before going to sleep. If he wasn't gay, he wouldn't have to hide it - from himself. His family. His team.

Thinking back, he figures it would have made his whole life so much easier. The long bus rides to away games when he was in pee-wee hockey. His gaze locked onto the floor whenever he was in the locker room. But especially the time in the showers. He'd been naked around his teammates for as long as he'd played hockey, but it still didn't make it easy. Well toned, handsome men hanging out in various forms of undress haunted so many waking hours of his day. What would make it all easier? Not being gay.

Where would he be now? Probably still in the NHL. Definitely, _definitely_ still in the NHL, or at _least_ not forced to retire because of a hit. Sure, the 'Erica' taunts made him a fighter - made him bristle and strong, at least on the outside. So maybe he wouldn't have been a fighter. Maybe he wouldn't have pissed of Carbonneau so much, and would have come out of that practice skate without a scratch.

And the fans... Maybe he would have been able to actually get close to the fans, especially the kids - answer their questions and not have to worry that just because he's nice, someone might think he's a faggot, trying to recruit them into his faggoty ways. Maybe if he wasn't gay, he may have met someone - a girl - and maybe even had a couple kids of his own. Kids that he could have coached and trained to play hockey if they wanted to. But only if they wanted to, and not like him, where he felt he _had_ to, to impress his dad.

Sipping his cup of coffee in the quiet morning before Scot was up, Eric let his mind wander, wondering, "What if..."

All that changed when he met Sam, though. Patient, wonderful, _beautiful_ Sam, whose eyes sparked like sunshine when he smiled at Eric. Sam, who was the only person who could tear down Eric's bricked-up wall of emotion, and then rebuild it again, but with their hearts together. Sam, who could steal Eric's breath with a look, and who really was Eric's whole world.

Slipping into a sardonic smile, Eric finishes his coffee and puts his cup down. He starts to get up, but Sam quietly strides into the room, tie hanging loosely around his neck and cuffs undone. Sam leans over, kissing the top of Eric's head, then grabs his cup. "Want some more?" he asks, though Eric misses most of the question. Instead, he's basking in the warmth that's quickly fading from his shoulders where Sam's hands rested, and the feel of a kiss against his hair.

"Hmm?" Eric asks, though he figures out what Sam asked as his coffee cup is filled. "Thanks, Sammy," he says as the cup is placed back on the table.

Sam takes a seat at the table next to him, and Eric finds himself staring into the dark blue of his partner's eyes, a questioning look on Sam's face. "Where were you?" Sam asks, taking a sip of his own cup.

Before he can answer, there's footfalls on the stairs. Scot is up, and now running water in the bathroom above them, and Eric just smiles, reaching for Sam's hand.

"Just thinkin' my life... Our life," Eric answers.

"Oh?" Sam responds, a wry grin on his face.

Squeezing Sam's hand in his own, Eric says, "Yeah, Sammy. And I wouldn't change a thing."


End file.
